Fangs: A (Un)Dead Give-away

Vampires. Terrifying creatures of the night. If you believe countless movies, the likes of Van Helsing or Underworld or Angel (technically not a movie but still); vampires are everywhere, stalking humans the way lions hunt gazelles. Or in some cases, wilde-beasts.

Capturing our imagination since the 19th century. – Pulled from

Alternately you may subscribe to the popular notion that in addition to being soulless suckers of blood, vampires are beautiful heart throbs for true love, in a sparkly Gothic sort of manner. This goes both ways, sparkly girls and boys, just so no one feels left out. And for those of you who are of the True Blood, I think there are even vampires that swing on the other side of the Spanish Moss, if you take my meaning.

It is honestly a little bizarre, or fantastical, when you think about it. I mean, human-like creatures that drink blood through pointy fangs and, when they aren’t exsanguinating some poor bum, masquerade amongst humanity as alluring wolves in designer sheep’s clothing. When does that get fun?

Apparently, fairly often.

Being a vampire has some perks. – Pulled from

The great thing about vampires for fans is that there is so much written about them. It doesn’t matter types of stories you like, as long as you don’t mind some fangs and the draining of blood or life force or something added in, the vampires are there for you!

We have an unnatural attraction for the damned creatures (pun intended). But why?

They are the perfect villain (or outlaw hero). Their curse alienates them from society, but in exchange they get unnatural strength and supernatural charm. At some point in time, most everyone feels alienated and at some point most everyone wishes they had ungodly amounts of strength and charm. Sometimes even at the same time! The only problem they ever really have is people getting tired of hearing about them. (The whole sun affliction thing is a joke, nerds have been dealing with that for decades.)

Now, I honestly prefer my vampires as terrifying night-stalkers over the angst-torn ones that wear to much makeup. I tried to capture that horrifying nightmare quality in my short story “A Petty Slight“. The sleek, over-powering old world charm makes an far more enjoyable mask than black lipstick and heavy eye shadow. But that’s me, what do you think?

Edited to add a little more humor:

Vampire Humor


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